rudely awakened, i was, from my sleep. about 5 am. being a saturday i assumed it was drunkards, but investigation from my window showed it to be one drunkard, and of the tramp persuasion.
the best kind.
for a long time he was just out of view, making fart noises. at least, that's an assumption, because they were of a volume beyond that of the standard (i'm speaking for myself, here), and came thick and fast. soon enough he lost interest/got better, and decided to investigate the cars (oh yes, this is all happening in car park). the concept of stationary vehicles seem to fill mr. tramp with a combination of intrigue and surprise, as he swayed back and forth, occasionally emitting yelps of excitement, possibly at the surprisingly spacious nature of modern coupés. possibly.
after some 30 minutes he lost interest in the project, and moved on to bush. that is, the bush that is in a pot that is on a wooden plinth that is in the car park. i suppose a bush that is not part of a hedge is just a shrub? not important. anyway, after a thorough examination mr. tramp lept back several feet from the bush/shrub, and ran to the nearest door. why? a mystery lost to time.
so this door happened to be open (another mystery - they're normally closed), so mr. tramp fed his quivering form inside, as i observed. now, these doors lead to glass-fronted stairwells, so i could only observe about 50% of his ascent, but that was enough to see that he was having some troubles. to be fair, they are steep and inadequately handrailed, but then a more sober person would have perhaps used the lift. however, mr. tramp was committed to the task, and made it to the summit...
...where he promptly slumped against the glass and passed out, with his legs splayed up against the adjacent wall. satisfied, i went to bed. he wasn't there when i got up.
by chris, age 26.
